


the perfect shield

by aizensosuke



Series: ByaRen Week 2018 [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Trans Character, Trans Kuchiki Byakuya, Trans Male Character, i'm going to make that a common tag u just watch me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 05:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16570241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizensosuke/pseuds/aizensosuke
Summary: renji is worried that byakuya risks unnecessary danger.





	the perfect shield

Though Abarai Renji would like to think his husband’s grace and reason had tempered his own stubborn nature and explosive temper, the fact that Kuchiki Byakuya is the cause of his current distress has not escaped him. The two of them had spent the entire evening arguing with one another, a fact that left Renji sleeping on the couch instead of in the luxurious bed he should have been sharing with the man he loved most in the world. And the current subject of their arguing was the same as it had been for the last few weeks ever since the flat expanse of Byakuya’s stomach had given way to the slightest hint of a delicate curve.

To most, it would have been impossible to note. Beneath the Shihakusho and his captain’s haori, such a small change would have not have been noticed by most of the people in their respective lives though plenty people had been waiting for the eventual visible signs of Byakuya’s pregnancy. The two of them had kept it well under wraps in case anything went for the first few months, an intimate secret just between the two of them communicated in silent gestures and soft whispers late at night in the privacy of their bedroom.

But now everyone knew, and though Renji knows Byakuya is more than capable of defending himself in combat, his nightmares have been haunted of the various wounds his captain and husband has suffered at the hands of their enemies. Byakuya could survive anything if he truly had to, but the fact remains that their child— small, frail, protected from the world only by Byakuya’s body— is not nearly as hardy or capable.

“Abarai Fukutaichou.” The tone of Byakuya’s voice cuts straight to the bone and Renji grits his teeth at the sound of it, trying to ignore the coldness in the grey gaze locked with his own. “You are overstepping your boundaries. You are my subordinate. Do not forget that in the grand scheme of our personal relationship with one another.”

As if he could ever. The moment he thought his place as Byakuya’s husband would grant him immunity from Byakuya’s title as captain was the moment Byakuya divorced him, and Renji knew better than to fight him on it. “You don’t need to be wandering into field work, though.”

“If our division is going to learn to fight Hollows with any sense of exactitude and certainty, they need to face them.” Byakuya’s eyes narrow slightly and Renji can feel the vein in his temple pulse at the expression on his husband’s face. “You fought them as a student, I recall.”

He had. The memory of the massive Hollows sends a chill down his spine, the plants of Aizen to endanger him, Hinamori, and Kira in order to win over their trust. “Yeah, but that was different.”

“Do you think me less capable than Aizen Sosuke?” The question is a dangerous one.

“Of course not. I just, I worry.” Renji bites his lip, wishing Byakuya could see it from his position, could understand the fragility of the tiny life inside of him. “You just, anything could go wrong…”

Plenty had gone wrong in the situation Byakuya himself had mentioned, including the deaths of other students in front of Renji’s eyes. Even Hisagi Shuhei had almost been killed by the Hollows in question, hulking beasts that students had no hope of overpowering with their limited facilities. Of course Aizen and Ichimaru Gin had been able to handle them given the fact they had set the entire situation up to work in their favor, always clever, always planning.

If such a thing were to occur now, Byakuya would not have that element of surprise. “And if something goes wrong, something could happen to you. And I don’t want that.”

“I can protect myself an adequate amount, and I can account for any danger that our new division members might face should we become the victims of an attack.” Byakuya tents his fingers, staring at Renji with eyes steadily entrenched in ice. “If you want to say something, Renji, by all means, come out and say it. This cat and mouse game is tiring.”

Renji sinks his teeth into the inside of his cheek and squares his shoulders. “You think all my concerns can just be brushed off like that? Just a game? I don’t like that talk. I know I’m your lieutenant, okay, I  _ fought _ for the position. Doesn’t mean you can just brush me off like that.”

“I’m not  _ attempting _ to brush you off, and such an insistence is an annoyance. You should know me better by this point in time.” Byakuya holds one delicate pale hand up, a slim golden band glittering one one of his fingers. “You were the one to place this here, Fukutaichou. Don’t tell me you did so knowing so little and believing in me not at all.”

The implication has Renji gritting his teeth and trying to tamp down the urge to shout, to unleash the careful control he has of his reiatsu just to have something to do with the excess energy. “You know I didn’t. You’re the one trying to make me sound like an idiot.”

“Your concern is noted, but it is not needed. You should have better faith in the man you call your captain. If you think so little of me, there are other divisions.” Byakuya turns his attention to the paperwork in front of him, clearly finished with this conversation.

Renji turns on heel as if he plans on storming away, but all he does is shut the door firmly to discourage anyone from attempting to listen in on the two of them. “Don’t ignore me. We aren’t done here. I’m giving you privacy because I know you don’t want anyone to hear this.”

“What are you doing?” Byakuya demands. “I gave you a command before you started this ridiculous argument once more. You are to prepare our new division members for—”

“And I’m going to do that as soon as I’ve made my point abundantly clear in a way that you can’t ignore.” Renji walks around Byakuya’s desk— sacred space, no one is allowed here— and grips the arms of Byakuya’s chair, spinning it around with him still seated in it. “You aren’t going to brush me off or ignore me. I’m not going to let you do that to me. I have a real and valid concern with you fighting Hollows considering you’re carrying our child.”

He drops to a knee to speak, watching Byakuya’s eyes widen down at him, his mouth falling open just a little before he snaps it back shut. “How dare you bring this child into—”

“Why shouldn’t I? If you’re going to use your title to ignore how much I care about your safety  _ and _ theirs, then I’m going to pull the one card I have up my sleeve.” Renji stretches a hand toward Byakuya’s stomach. Even through the folds of clothing, he knows exactly where to touch and had been there patiently at Byakuya’s side when they visited the fourth division so Unohana Taichou could confirm the children’s heartbeat. “I don’t want anything to happen to them!”

Before his hand makes contact with Byakuya’s body, slim white fingers coil tight around his weight, stopping his movements. “You’re not going to want to do that, Renji. I know you are concerned, but you should not overstep your boundaries just the same.”

“I’m not  _ trying _ to.” The conversation was going nowhere, Renji can see that well enough, but his gaze is fixed on Byakuya’s hand, the flex of muscle in his forearm to keep Renji’s hand in place. “I just… You’ve been through so much pain in the last few years. You’ve been hurt so many times.  _ You _ are fine, physically. You can withstand that pain and recover.”

_ But our unborn child can’t. _ The words linger between the two of them, silent but carrying a heavy weight just the same. Both of them have seen friends and loved ones die at the hands of far less capable things than Hollows, who were vicious and had killed many shinigami in their time. Inexperienced division members risked making the matter all the more dangerous should their incompetence worsen the situation. And though it was not guaranteed to happen, Renji had grown to understand that the very moment they grew content, something occurred.

At this point, losing Byakuya seems impossible, and Renji has survived enough hellstorm that he highly doubts he risks death and leaving his husband a widower once more. But this child is delicate, and Byakuya had realized that almost immediately, the one to suggest they keep it between themselves because miscarriages so early in a shinigami’s pregnancy were not a surprise given the strenuous nature of the jobs they were to perform.

“Nothing is going to happen to our child.” Byakuya is exasperated, not moved by his pretty words and Renji presses his lips into a thin line. “I can protect the both of us.”

“You can protect  _ you, _ ” Renji corrects, and Byakuya’s head whips around suddenly.

Still gripping Renji’s wrist, he leans down until their mouths are mere centimeters apart, his dark brows furrowed together and his eyes as cold as the northern seas. “Pray tell me what you mean by that comment, Fukutaichou. Your Taichou is very curious.”

“How many times have you bled to protect someone else, or in a fight? You had to cut the ligaments in your muscles. You took Shinso’s stab to protect Rukia. How many times?” Renji’s voice is desperate and Byakuya seems taken aback, lips parted softly, eyes blinking as they widen. “A stab to the stomach. That would be all it takes. Or a particularly harsh strike.”

Though Byakuya had grown up in a family of shinigami, there was no denying the fact that Renji had seen the trauma and struggle of growing up in the slums. Pregnancy was common but coming to term was not, and so many people had lost the children they wanted that the lingering fear of Byakuya suffering a similar fate twisted his heart and kept him choked.

Byakuya has suffered  _ enough _ in his life. The death of Hisana was enough for Renji to be certain that all he wants to do now is keep Byakuya safe and happy for the rest of his days.

“I don’t want that.” His voice is edging toward hysteria now and Byakuya’s grip on his wrist relaxes as his face softens with understanding, the previous coldness melting from his gentle features. “You don’t know that pain yet, and I don’t want you to. I want you to be happy. I know… I know you want this child, and so do I. A child with your beautiful grey eyes.”

“Or your brown eyes,” Byakuya argues, but Renji ignores him. “I do want this child. But I don’t want to sideline myself. My position as captain is an important one, especially now.”

That much is true, and Renji knows this; Soul Society is going through changes, and growing pains are better handled when those in charge have firm control of their faculties, can provide a guiding hand for the people. But the sacrifice of the family he is so close to having with Byakuya is not something Renji can justify, not when he knows how much Byakuya wants this, having seen the wonder in Byakuya’s eyes when Unohana first revealed the pregnancy to them.

“But anything can happen.” And Renji can’t help but protest because the last thing he wants to see happen is Byakuya suffering, the loss of a child neither of them would get to meet. Shinigami cannot be born again, after all. They turn to dust to fuel the reishi that holds Soul Society together. “And I don’t want to see you in pain. I don’t want to see you dying inside because of something like this. Please, just… Let me take them on my own.”

Byakuya frowns down at him. “And suppose you don’t come back to me, Renji?”

“You know I will. That’s ridiculous.” Renji tilts his hand to capture Byakuya’s, brings it to his lips to press a kiss to his delicate knuckles. “When have I ever let you down?”

When he reaches for Byakuya’s stomach this time, his husband seems to relent and leans back, offering his body so freely. Renji breathes a sigh of relief; he’s traced the slight curve of Byakuya’s stomach ever since the tentative showing had begun, using the thought of their child as an anchor when the world around them just seems like too much to keep up with.

He senses something distinctly off and hears Byakuya’s chuckle just before his fingertips brush Byakuya’s uniform, the sudden flash of light all he sees before his back slams into the wall.

Renji hits the ground hard, groaning as he blinks the brightness out of his eyes, staring up at the ceiling above him.  _ What the hell was that? What did he just do? _

“Was that kido?” he asks, not sure he wants to hear the answer right now. He’s got a few bruises to sport alongside his bruised pride for sure.

“Of a sort. It’s a protective form that keeps my body safe from being touched for the duration of its casting. I choose that.” Byakuya sounds more amused than he has any right to given the circumstances and Renji scowls at the ceiling. “Unohana Taichou told me to look into it if I planned on resuming my captain duties alongside my pregnancy.”

When Renji sits up, Byakuya is still facing him, one leg neatly crossed over the other and a visible kanji written in pale blue light hovering over his body before it dissipates into nothingness. “I. I didn’t even think about something like that.”

“I’m a master of kido and more to the point, I was determined not to let anything happen to our child.” Byakuya rests a hand on top of his stomach, fingers splayed protectively across his haori. “This child is ours, created from the summation of our love, and I would hardly let something like a Hollow take it away from me. Not while I still the ability to draw breath into my lungs.”

The weight of his words shocks Renji to his core. Not only had he not thought ahead to something like this, Byakuya had thought it out and come to a similar conclusion despite the frivolous and frustrating run of their arguments. He could have just  _ told _ Renji he had his own personal security system in place should anything come near his body, but Renji feels at peace just knowing now. Maybe later, in private, he can ask Byakuya why he felt the need to keep this 

to himself instead of sharing the information, but not now. For now, Renji is just glad.

When he comes to kneel in front of Byakuya once more, Byakuya takes him by the wrist once more, but not to stop him. Instead, he draws Renji’s hand to his abdomen, all but commanding him to touch. It would be hard to detect for anyone else but Renji can feel it, the slight curve there, the sign that their child is still growing inside of his husband’s body, creating more space for themself as needed. If Byakuya is worried about how  _ much _ he’s going to show, he hasn’t said a thing about it since the discovery.

“Did you really think I would do something so reckless as to endanger our child?” Byakuya asks, and now his voice is soft and just a little sad, as though the prospect upsets him.

Renji sighs and leans forward, replacing his hand with his cheek, humming when Byakuya’s fingers pick at the heavy braid lying down the length of his back. “No. I was just… Overly worried, I guess. You know how I get when it’s about you.”

“Of course I do. Idiot.” Byakuya’s finger flips beneath his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes meet once more. “Our child will be safe inside of my body until they are ready to be born. Now, go prepare our new members so we can take them out to train.”

Renji nods and stands, leaning over to press a kiss against Byakuya’s lips and wondering briefly if Kyoraku is going to slam them for fraternization even though the two of them are married now. Ha, a laugh, the idea of Kyoraku of all people giving a shit about fraternization. So Renji lets the kiss linger, cups the back of Byakuya’s head and deepens it until Byakuya sighs against his mouth, lips parting timidly so Renji can slip his tongue between them. He kisses Byakuya like they’re going to be separated for years instead of only half an hour or so.

He watches as Byakuya reinstates the protective shield and doesn’t dare test it, not keen on having his back broken by his husband’s resourceful skills once more. “Be going to round up the new kids, Taichou. I’ll find us a good few Menos to fight, that oughta do them.”

Byakuya’s eyebrows dart up at the words. “Well, with that attitude, we might as well stop splitting hairs and just go fetch one of the living Arrancar to humble all of them.”

Renji smirks; they both know a few, after all.

He bids Byakuya farewell and goes to do his duty, and the anxiety that has been clawing at his gut for days finally settles and allows him to breathe freely once more. Everything is going to be fine, and tonight, he’s going to get down on his hands and knees and beg his husband’s forgiveness for being such a monumental dumbass about all of this. Byakuya’s patience with him is legendary in more ways than one, and Renji definitely does not deserve him.

The gold wedding band on his finger glitters in the sunlight confirms that he’s somehow managed to earn his love and devotion just the same.

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey it's byaren week from now until the sixteenth so guess who's participating! read all of the entries in order because i plan for them to be in order.
> 
> fun fact: my tumblr is actually [byaren](https://byaren.tumblr.com/) so come hang out some time~


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